This is the weekend report I wrote for the activities of the Taipei Animals soccer team on and off the field at the 2000 Millennium 6-a-Side International Football Tournament in Manila. You can see the full website I created for the event (complete with risqué pictures) here.
On Friday, November 17, 2000, a group of very brave men gathered early in the morning at Taipei International Airport, leaving behind girlfriends, wives, and children (for good reason!) and their beloved jobs to embark on a dangerous weekend adventure to Makati, deep in the heart of Manila. Home to some of the deadliest STDs known to man, Makati was no place for boys, and these men knew the risks they would be taking. For you see, these men weren’t your ordinary tourists in Makati, only after a weekend of cheap booze and even cheaper women. These men were on a mission, seeking to quench a thirst that had been building for nearly a decade, a passion that lived within every last one of them. They were after the championship trophy of the toughest football competition in the world – The Manila Nomads International 6-a-Side Football Tournament. In less than 72 hours after arriving in Manila, these men would be elevated from the status of mere weekend warriors from Taipei to the number one 6-a-Side squad in all of Asia. There was only one name fitting for such a courageous, fiery, determined group of men, and a name that will certainly not soon be forgotten by the women of Makati – The Taipei Animals!
Under the leadership of the intrepid Will “The Dancin’ Machine” Beebe, the Animals entered the weekend with possibly the strongest 6-a-Side team they had ever fronted. Packed with even more Frenchmen than the French teams at the tournament, this squad knew they were bound to score plenty on and off the pitch. And with Sam “Ribs of Steel” Ellis guarding the goal mouth, the only beating the Animals were bound to take this weekend was behind closed doors. Or so they were hoping…
Friday night and Saturday morning seemed to meld into one, yet the Animals were so eager to begin their domination of the tournament that they were up bright and early and out on the pitch several hours before their first game!!! This clear indication of the squad’s drive to win raised the brows of quite a few competitors, already intimidated by the Animals’ ‘French factor’. The poor Hong Kong Poms (also known as the German All Stars despite the fact they are all poms) were the first to taste the bitterness of defeat at the hands of the Animals. Frustrated with the 1-0 victory, the Animals knew that their inability to score the night before was being reflected in their current level of play. They knew they had to pick up the intensity, and that they did. The next two games the Animals utterly annihilated their opponents, led by the scoring of Chidi “The (Scoring) Machine” Egbochue. Finishing with the top point tally of the day, the Animals were well on their way to their destination (Papillon!).
Having learned the year before that even the best teams can get knocked out early on Sunday, the Animals came out the next morning confident but cautious, knowing the trophy could be theirs in less than half a day. The Animals breezed through their first two matches to the semifinals, where they met up with the hodgepodge side of Inter United, also hailing from Taipei. As onlookers anxiously watched this Taipei showdown, both sides came out kicking and shouting. Many were saying this was the true championship match of the tournament, though both teams knew that there would be no second place trophy for the loser of this match. He is French Chris, the greatest tackler in Animals history and making a run for player of the tournament, went in for one too many tackles and found himself ejected from the game. Playing a man down, the Animals managed to keep Mora and the rest of Inter United out of the goal, leading into a very tense penalty shootout. Luckily, Michael Chandler did his job as manager and slipped Shin, Inter United’s solid Japanese sweeper, enough pesos to buy half the women on P. Burgos Street. Shin, a shrewd business man and brilliant actor, pocketed the money, hit his penalty right at Sam, and then put on a fabulous display of his acting skills by falling to the ground and pretending to be devastated despite the fact he had visions of Filipino women dancing through his head. The Animals placed their shots on target and the game was decided – Animals 3 – Inter United 2.
Despite being the overwhelming favorite heading into the finals, the Animals’ fearless captain reminded them that Tokyo was not a team to underestimate, as they had so many good players that when he was a member of the team, he wasn’t even a starter! With a fan base of ten giddy Filipino girls, the three Manchester boys, and a Spaniard known to the local women only as ‘The Milkman’ taking on the rest of the 500 spectators cheering for the underdog Tokyo side, the Animals took the field ready for an intense 30 minutes of football. Both sides played tight defense throughout the first half, Chris managing to shut down their power man and the Tokyo defense stemming off multiple attacks from the Animals’ Flying Dutchman. However, Tokyo underestimated the power of the French Connection, as Jean Pierre and Norbert managed to work their way into the box and Norbert struck home the only goal of the game. Sitting on their 1-0 lead, the Animals rode out the rest of the game with a fantastic defensive effort and great saves by Sam, one of which almost cost him his life (or so he claims). And thus a decade-long dream, enshrouded by doubts brought on by past defeats, had finally come to fruition for a team that well deserved it.
Although most of the weekend had passed, and the Animals were scarred and bruised, the fun had only just begun. This victory so long pursued by these overworked and underappreciated men had infused in them a new sense of being and energy. Riding on this boost of confidence, the Animals hit the streets of Makati ready to do their worst. After a victory dinner of crabs (a symbolic prelude into what some of the Animals would be feasting on the rest of the night), the Animals rambled back to P. Burgos Street to begin celebrating properly. Belting out their battle cry at the top of their lungs, the Animals stormed into bar after bar, hoisting the championship trophy high in the air and dancing in and out of other customers and the scantily-clothed bar girls. Various Animals, in their state of elation, took it upon themselves to provide live entertainment for the rest of the Animals and their fellow bar patrons. One young Animal from England couldn’t keep his clothes on, leading to an enthusiastic display of his special ‘tucking’ trick learned a few years earlier from a ‘friend’ in Thailand. Another Animal from Texas, mistaken as a shy lad by his fellow teammates, couldn’t stand to be outdone by a pom and gave a stellar demonstration of his ‘napkin dance’.
As daylight broke, the Animals had lost their numbers, but a few random survivors could still be found stumbling around in search of the Century Citadel Hotel, the Animals victory song barely audible under their beer-laden breaths. As the last few Animals made their way through the doors of the hotel, the locals came out of hiding and began a new day, a new week, trying their best to forget the night that will live on in the hearts and memories of the Animals forever!
